<p>When The Paper Wolf was first created in 1999, the appropriately titled “Back Page” of the printed publication was always reserved for fun (and often ridiculous) non-news items that were created strictly for entertainment purposes, such as games, silly quotes, and tongue-in-cheek campus observations. Now that the The Paper Wolf has entered the digital realm while retaining the historical title that now appears to be a misnomer, the tradition of The Back Page must continue, as well, with tongue planted firmly in cheek. </p>
[satire] Student Handbook violation lands Saint Paul’s Student in Jail
At the beginning of the 2021-22 school year, Saint Paul’s made the decision to crack down on students wearing Columbia PFG khaki water shorts. The shorts are made of an incredibly breathable lightweight nylon material which provided comfort that other pairs of shorts cannot; however, the shorts do not have a button or zipper and […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Satirical News Writer Runs Out of Ideas Just in Time for Graduation
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) — Hyde Healy, the creator and writer of the beloved, highly-respected satirical news column Cry Wolf (which Brother Ray Bulliard once called “the best thing to happen to St. Paul’s since Brother Ken”), has announced he has completely run out of ideas just in time for his high school graduation, […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Sleeveless, Baseball Bat-Wielding Watkins Standing Guard Outside Main School Building to Prevent Senior Prank
Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: Today (Friday, May 3) is the seniors last day of school, and they have been warned by the St. Paul’s administration not to pull a prank. __________________________________________________________________________ (COVINGTON, La.) — Gripping a baseball bat and clad in a sleeveless shirt and jeans, Principal Watkins stood outside the main school building to […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Soccer Team to Melt Down All 10 State Championship Trophies Into 15 Foot Statue of Sean Moser
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) Fresh off its 3-0 state championship victory over Jesuit High School Saturday night, the St. Paul’s Varsity soccer team has decided to melt all 10 of its Louisiana state championship trophies to create a 15 foot statue of head coach Sean Moser. “After careful consideration and a long talk […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: CDC Called in to Combat Outbreak of Senioritis
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) St. Paul’s School has called in the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to combat a grade-wide outbreak of Senioritis, according to the school administration. While there have been some reported cases of Senioritis within the St. Paul’s current senior class dating back to August, the disease did […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Planet Fitness Offering Realistic New Year’s Membership that Expires After Two Weeks
Cry Wolf Satirical News (HAMPTON, Nh.) National fitness gym franchise Planet Fitness is now offering prospective gym members a realistic New Year’s membership that automatically expires after two weeks, according to a statement released Tuesday by the company. “Here at Planet Fitness, we are all about inclusion,” the statement read. “So we thought it was […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Dad Immediately Wrecks Car After Son Turns on Back-seat Light
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La) — A Covington dad wrecked his car last night after his 11-year-old son perilously turned on a back-seat interior light despite the fact that it was dark outside. The man, identified as 45-year-old Bob Salinger, was reportedly taking a leisurely nighttime drive down Lee Rd. with his family when […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: LSU Hires Translator for Coach O
Cry Wolf Satirical News (BATON ROGUE) In order to translate everything he says into English, Louisiana State University has hired an official translator for head football coach Ed Orgeron, university officials confirmed yesterday. “We are very excited to announce this news. This is long overdue,” LSU officials said. “An official Coach Translator will be an […]
[satire] CRY WOLF: Pampered SPS Students Can’t Believe They Only Have Two Day Weekend
Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: St. Paul’s School has had an unusual number of school days cancelled this school year due to an assortment of factors, such as hurricanes and school holidays. These days off have resulted in many extended weekends where students have Friday or Monday off. (COVINGTON, La.) According to multiple incredulous sources, […]
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