<p>When The Paper Wolf was first created in 1999, the appropriately titled “Back Page” of the printed publication was always reserved for fun (and often ridiculous) non-news items that were created strictly for entertainment purposes, such as games, silly quotes, and tongue-in-cheek campus observations. Now that the The Paper Wolf has entered the digital realm while retaining the historical title that now appears to be a misnomer, the tradition of The Back Page must continue, as well, with tongue planted firmly in cheek. </p>
CRY WOLF: LA DOTD Announces New 17-Year Construction Project to Widen LA 21 to 14 Lanes
[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (COVINGTON, La) The Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) has announced a new 17-year construction project to widen a section of Louisiana Highway 21 in Covington to 14 lanes, according to multiple sources. The project, which will widen the section of LA 21 from Bootlegger Road to 11th Avenue, is […]
Cry Wolf: Student Starts Resume Club
[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (COVINGTON, La.) An ambitious St. Paul’s School student has reportedly started a “Resume Club.” Sources say the club’s sole purpose will be to pad the resumes of its members. “So many students get involved in things just so they can put it on their resume,” Resume Club founder Peter Ross, a […]
Wise, All-Knowing Prophet Tells Freshmen that High School Goes by Really Fast
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La) A sage prophet told a group of mesmerized freshmen Tuesday (Aug. 29) that high school goes by really fast, according to multiple mind-blown sources. “You have to cherish your time now,” said the oracle, 17-year-old senior Nathan Mace, as he generously conferred his wisdom upon some underclassmen. “Before you […]
Top Ways to Ask any Female to Homecoming
(COVINGTON, LA) St. Paul’s Homecoming takes place Sept. 22, 2017, and it is very important to ask whomever you plan on asking the correct way. Here are some tips that are guaranteed to get that “yes” from the girl of your dreams. 1. Ask through MySpace Step 1: Create a MySpace Step 2: […]
Heartless Student Doesn’t Even Try to Hide Glances at Clock from Teacher
[Cry Wolf satirical news] (COVINGTON, La.) — Sources confirmed Thursday (May 4) that a heartless student did not even try to hide his glances at the clock from his teacher. Witnesses say the cold-hearted student, freshman Eric Gray, made no effort at all to conceal his frequent glances at the clock. “It was just cruel,” […]
Cry Wolf: Health-Conscious Mosquito Only Bites Gluten-Free People
[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (WHOLE FOODS – MANDEVILLE, La.) Buzzing about what a great lifestyle change it was, a health-conscious mosquito has started only biting gluten-free people, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 19). Following a recently popular fad in the mosquito community, the winged insect has reportedly started only biting and sucking the blood exclusively of […]
CRY WOLF: Student to Vote for Student Council Candidate Who Makes Better Empty Promises
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Regarding the upcoming Student Council election, a St. Paul’s student has decided he will vote for the student council candidate that makes better empty promises, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 5). Reports say that sophomore Brian Deck’s vote will be won by the quality of promises that will never […]
CRY WOLF: Three Eighth Graders Blown Away after Light Breeze Rolls Through Campus
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Three St. Paul’s eighth graders have reportedly been blown away after a light breeze rolled through campus Thursday (March 23). Witnesses say the boys were lifted off the ground and whisked away “like pieces of paper” by the gust of wind. “It was pretty crazy,” said bystander Peter […]
Cry Wolf: Student Spends Rigorous Night Studying the Best Ways to Cheat
Cry Wolf satirical news. (SELCOE, Ariz.) — Sources confirmed Friday (March 10) that a high school student spent an intense and rigorous night studying the best ways to cheat. Cameron Walters, a junior at Bernard High School in Selcoe, Arizona, reportedly spent the entirety of the previous night arduously studying and mastering the most effective […]
