<p>When The Paper Wolf was first created in 1999, the appropriately titled “Back Page” of the printed publication was always reserved for fun (and often ridiculous) non-news items that were created strictly for entertainment purposes, such as games, silly quotes, and tongue-in-cheek campus observations. Now that the The Paper Wolf has entered the digital realm while retaining the historical title that now appears to be a misnomer, the tradition of The Back Page must continue, as well, with tongue planted firmly in cheek. </p>
Cry Wolf: Health-Conscious Mosquito Only Bites Gluten-Free People
[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (WHOLE FOODS – MANDEVILLE, La.) Buzzing about what a great lifestyle change it was, a health-conscious mosquito has started only biting gluten-free people, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 19). Following a recently popular fad in the mosquito community, the winged insect has reportedly started only biting and sucking the blood exclusively of […]
CRY WOLF: Student to Vote for Student Council Candidate Who Makes Better Empty Promises
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Regarding the upcoming Student Council election, a St. Paul’s student has decided he will vote for the student council candidate that makes better empty promises, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 5). Reports say that sophomore Brian Deck’s vote will be won by the quality of promises that will never […]
CRY WOLF: Three Eighth Graders Blown Away after Light Breeze Rolls Through Campus
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Three St. Paul’s eighth graders have reportedly been blown away after a light breeze rolled through campus Thursday (March 23). Witnesses say the boys were lifted off the ground and whisked away “like pieces of paper” by the gust of wind. “It was pretty crazy,” said bystander Peter […]
Cry Wolf: Student Spends Rigorous Night Studying the Best Ways to Cheat
Cry Wolf satirical news. (SELCOE, Ariz.) — Sources confirmed Friday (March 10) that a high school student spent an intense and rigorous night studying the best ways to cheat. Cameron Walters, a junior at Bernard High School in Selcoe, Arizona, reportedly spent the entirety of the previous night arduously studying and mastering the most effective […]
Cry Wolf: Firework Stand Employee Seems Like Last Person to Trust with Tent of Explosives
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Local woman Susan Watemen noted Thursday how the man working at her local firework stand seemed like the last person you’d trust with a tent full of explosives. Pointing out his missing teeth and “Death to All” neck tattoo, Watemen expressed bewilderment that anyone would deem the worker […]
Man On Campus: What is Your Lenten Sacrifice?
(COVINGTON, La.)– A tradition of the season of Lent incites many Catholics to either surrender a habit or action, or follow through with helpful deeds or obligations, such as the call of almsgiving. Much like a New Year’s resolution, Lenten resolutions are not a requirement but are necessary to some, and can be left to either […]
Cry Wolf: Student Ostracized by Class After Bringing Teacher Back on Topic
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — A student was reportedly ostracized by his entire class after bringing their teacher back on topic with a pertinent question on Friday. Sources say the class had been basking in the serenity of discussing literally anything but the class material for about 10 minutes before it happened. “It […]
Cry Wolf Exclusive: Student Saves Man from Burning Building Just to Pad Resume
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) — A student rescued a man from a burning building for the sole purpose of putting it on his high school resume, sources confirmed Monday. The student, St. Paul’s junior Miles Shaw, was reportedly walking down 12th Avenue when he smelled smoke and heard commotion coming from a nearby […]
Cry Wolf Exclusive: Nobody’s Noticed that Teacher Hasn’t Posted New Lesson Plan Since September
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) — An SPS teacher has reportedly not posted a new lesson plan on Edline since September, and absolutely no one has noticed. “I guess I’m a little surprised,” the teacher said, also noting that she has not received a single email, call, or concern of any sort since she […]
