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<p>Satirical news regarding St. Paul’s campus, administration, and the world around us.</p>

[satire] CRY WOLF: Pampered SPS Students Can’t Believe They Only Have Two Day Weekend

Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: St. Paul’s School has had an unusual number of school days cancelled this school  year due to an assortment of factors, such as hurricanes and school holidays. These days off have resulted in many extended weekends where students have Friday or Monday off. (COVINGTON, La.) According to multiple incredulous sources, […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Watkins Institutes New 36 Block Schedule To Make Up For Missed School Days

(COVINGTON, La.) To make up for school days in which St. Paul’s School was closed due to events like Hurricane Gordon or the Christian Brothers 100th anniversary holiday, Principal Trevor Watkins has instituted a new 36 block schedule effective immediately. “Starting tomorrow and continuing until our school gets back on track, each school day will […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: New Benilde Bathroom Already Smells Terrible

Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: The old Benilde Hall contained a restroom that was notorious for its horrible smell and general uncleanliness.   (COVINGTON, La.) The bathroom of the newly renovated Benilde Hall already smells terrible, according to numerous disgusted sources. Students and faculty alike have expressed confusion as to how the brand-new bathroom, which came […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: St. Paul’s Student Devastated to Realize There’s Still 50 Minutes Left of Class

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) The four block, 90-minute class schedule St. Paul’s operates under has given students a very unique relationship with the clock.  A St. Paul’s student was reportedly devastated to realize there was still 50 minutes left of class yesterday (May 9). Sources say sophomore Tyrone Peters was horrified after looking […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Josh Rovira Under Investigation for Colluding with Jesuit during Student Council Election

Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) An investigation has been opened into newly-elected St. Paul’s Student Council President Josh Rovira for colluding with the Jesuit High School Student Council during the recent 2018 St. Paul’s Student Council election. The investigation into Rovira and his campaign team was opened after it was discovered that the Jesuit […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Teacher Trying to Actually Teach During Last Period on a Friday Clearly Delusional

Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) A teacher who was actually trying to teach her class during the last period of school on a Friday is clearly delusional, according to multiple concerned sources. Students say Janice Bell, a Geometry teacher, has “definitely gone off the deep end” after she attempted to run a productive class […]