Tag Archives: Cry Wolf Satirical News

[satire] CRY WOLF: Soccer Team to Melt Down All 10 State Championship Trophies Into 15 Foot Statue of Sean Moser

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) Fresh off its 3-0 state championship victory over Jesuit High School Saturday night, the St. Paul’s Varsity soccer team has decided to melt all 10 of its Louisiana state championship trophies to create a 15 foot statue of head coach Sean Moser. “After careful consideration and a long talk […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Planet Fitness Offering Realistic New Year’s Membership that Expires After Two Weeks

Cry Wolf Satirical News (HAMPTON, Nh.) National fitness gym franchise Planet Fitness is now offering prospective gym members a realistic New Year’s membership that automatically expires after two weeks, according to a statement released Tuesday by the company. “Here at Planet Fitness, we are all about inclusion,” the statement read. “So we thought it was […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Pampered SPS Students Can’t Believe They Only Have Two Day Weekend

Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: St. Paul’s School has had an unusual number of school days cancelled this school  year due to an assortment of factors, such as hurricanes and school holidays. These days off have resulted in many extended weekends where students have Friday or Monday off. (COVINGTON, La.) According to multiple incredulous sources, […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: Watkins Institutes New 36 Block Schedule To Make Up For Missed School Days

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) To make up for school days in which St. Paul’s School was closed due to events like Hurricane Gordon or the Christian Brothers 100th anniversary holiday, Principal Trevor Watkins has instituted a new 36 block schedule effective immediately. “Starting tomorrow and continuing until our school gets back on track, […]

[satire] CRY WOLF: New Benilde Bathroom Already Smells Terrible

Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: The old Benilde Hall contained a restroom that was notorious for its horrible smell and general uncleanliness.   (COVINGTON, La.) The bathroom of the newly renovated Benilde Hall already smells terrible, according to numerous disgusted sources. Students and faculty alike have expressed confusion as to how the brand-new bathroom, which came […]