


‘Deadliest Teacher’ Set For Triumphant Return
Coming soon to a campus near you… FACULTY MEMORANDUM [Classified Location] [Classified Time] Dear Faculty, It has come to my attention lately, as I’m sure it has with many of you, that the time for the 105th Deadliest Teacher Tournament is drawing near, which is completely mandatory for all faculty who don’t want to have […]

Deadliest Teacher: THE TEACHERNATOR Part VI: The Calm Before the Storm
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP… The electronic chirps were the first thing Mrs. Jordan perceived as she emerged from deep unconsciousness. She became aware of a warm light above her face, turning her vision a soft pink through her closed eyelids. She opened them. The room was well-organized, but messy. Drawers overflowed with bandages, medicines, and all varieties of […]

Guerrilla Wolves Movie News with Parker Layman: Archive Pt. 2
Hello, and welcome to part two of the Guerrilla Wolves Movie News Archive, chronically Parker Layman’s movie rants from the October and November broadcasts of Guerrilla Wolves News. Scroll on if you wish to have your daily dose of unwanted opinions. • • • TROLLS IN BOXES Parker recaps Laika Studios’s latest mixed bag, “The […]

Deadliest Teacher: THE TEACHERNATOR Part III: On the Offensive
Benilde Hall, as always, was eerily quiet. The deep hallway of the first floor rested in darkness and silence, waiting eagerly for something to disturb its total stillness. As Coach Dickens cracked open the door to the hallway, the silence remained intact. He moved noiselessly across the threshold of the door and drifted as quietly […]

Deadliest Teacher: THE TEACHERNATOR Part I
The greatest battle the world has ever seen begins…

Deadliest Teacher: The Matrix – Final Chapter
Last time on Deadliest Teacher: the Matrix, Mr. Baumgartner had defeated Mr. Carambat, Mrs. Case, Mrs. Jordan, and Coach Moser in a sudden-death elimination race around the track. Three teachers remained in the competition, but by the end of the day there would only be one. Feeling his fairy dust wear off, Mr. Baumgartner descended […]

Deadliest Teacher: the Matrix (part VIII)
Last time on Deadliest Teacher: The Matrix, Mr. Guillory and Coach Dickens had eliminated each other, and Mrs. Case and Coach Moser had already begun to duel. However, this duel was being fought with words. “What do you mean you don’t want to fight me!” remarked Mrs. Case. “That’s so sexist!” “No,” said Coach Moser […]

Deadliest Teacher: The Matrix (Part VII)
When we last left off, Coach Rob had mysteriously imploded with rage from the loss of his bird, Jim. Coach Dickens, unsure of what he had just seen, began to rummage through the cafeteria for rations. He didn’t know what he would find, but he had a feeling that he would find something of use. […]

Deadliest Teacher: The Matrix part VI
When we last left off, Coach Rob had been transformed into a lethal fighting machine by Mr. Carambat, and had just eliminated Coach Pierre from the competition. Coach Rob let out a violent roar, and the campus went quiet. The remaining teachers dared not make a sound, for fear of being detected. Although they remained […]