An advertisement from 2008, once believed to have just been made for laughs, has inexplicably confirmed Chicago rapper Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, to have created multiple clones of himself in a last-ditch effort to escape the public eye once and for all.
For almost seven years now, scientists have been speculating whether or not West was actually cloned and replaced by a secret evil organization for world-domination purposes. Some had claimed that Hollywood had kidnapped Ye right after the Infowars controversy and replaced him with a clone of himself so he could follow their political agenda and not “act out of line” again. Others believed he had died in that fateful car crash in 2003 and was replaced by a doppelganger immediately afterward by Roc-a-fella records.
It seemed like the investigation would never end and only lead to more dead-ends. That is until this video surfaced online…
To provide some context, this video was an advertisement created in the summer of 2008 (three months before the release of his fourth studio album 808s & Heartbreak) as a part of a promotional campaign for Absolut, a well-known Swedish brand of vodka. Though scientists don’t know how West was able to get his hands on highly advanced portable cloning technology at the time, he still promoted it on national television for the entire world to see.
With this new evidence, people worldwide can now all breathe a sigh of relief and accept, as a definite fact, that West was indeed cloned.
The only thing, however, that came as a surprise to everyone was that it wasn’t Hollywood or the Illuminati behind the cloning but rather… West himself!
As a result, people have been left shocked and confused by this new revelation, including major celebrities and political figures such as Kassym-Jomart Tokayev, the current president of Kazakhstan. “Why would my beloved Ye do such a thing? Doesn’t he know what he has done with this stunt,” he expressed during a late-night interview on NBC, “I now wonder, is this why we never got Yandhi?”
But even with this mass confusion and chaos that has ensued, there are still many unanswered questions.
Let’s review: in mid-2008, rapper Kanye West decided to partake in a promotional campaign for Absolut. In the ad, he promoted a tab that can turn anyone into a clone of himself. Despite the great reception, no sales were reported of BeKanye.
Now, why is that? The answer: government coverup, obviously! The federal government was afraid of this invention’s possibilities, so they hid it from the public eye. But little did it know, it was already too late as we now know that the Kanye West the world has known for the past 15 years has just been a clone.
Though scientists don’t know how many people acquired the BeKanye tabs, Pope Francis has a theory in the works that his cardinals are looking into. “We believe that for every Kanye West album that releases, around five or more BeKanye tabs are inevitably found and consumed by fans,” said the Pope to Fox News. If this theory proves to be accurate, this means that there are about 50 Kanye clones currently lurking on Earth, hidden below the surface waiting to return and replace the current Ye clone.
There is just one more question on top of our minds: Where is the real Kanye West?
Unfortunately, there has been no new information regarding his location, but it can be safely assumed that he is in either Cuba or Argentina – the local hotspot for “dead” rappers and celebrities such as 2pac and Biggie Smalls.
As for why he did it, there is also no legitimate proof, but scientists and the Catholic Church both believe it could’ve been because he wanted to escape the public eye and return to a simpler lifestyle. This was not too long after the death of his mother Donda West, so maybe it inspired him to move away from music altogether. Who knows?
All in all, this news changes everything. From the way we look at the current “Kanye West” to the music “he” created after Graduation, it’s no surprise that we will never look at the rapper/man the same way ever again.
But hey, at least we now know why Yandhi was never released.
The Paper Wolf 