In a desperate plea for relevance, the Chicago Bears have been forced to swap their NFL helmets for NCAA ones.

The NFL has not been pleased with the Bears’ performance this season, and the league decided to take disciplinary action. That is, the Bears will be relegated to the NCAA and will be required to play an SEC schedule in 2024 before potentially being promoted back into the NFL in 2025.

Despite having numerous qualities that make them worthy of relegation, the NFL specified several of their flaws in an official league memo that explained the move, including “fumbling like they’re trying to catch a slippery bar of soap, using a playbook that is more comparable to a children’s coloring book, and tackling like a group hug at a surprise party.”

The Chicago Bears have not always been this bad, however. The team was founded in the 1920s, and they had a rich history in American football. With iconic players like Walter Payton, who was known for his lightning-fast runs, they were once a powerhouse and admirable franchise. While they once stood strong with a couple of iconic players and a somewhat rich history, recent seasons have left fans disappointed and unloving of this unbearable team.

In recent times the Bears have stumbled like someone trying to dance with two left feet.

According to StatMuse.com, the Bears have a win-loss ratio of 62 wins and 101 losses in the past 10 years.

The Bears marketing team promised fans that this year was going to be different, citing the millions of dollars the Bears spent on acquiring high-end free agents to surround promising young quarterback Justin Fields.

Unfortunately, the Bears’ spending spree meant nothing, as they have been taking more losses than anyone could have predicted. With fans scratching their heads and wondering why the team can’t seem to catch a break, it’s no wonder they are being booted from the NFL.

They’ve been fumbling, throwing passes to the wrong team, missing blocks, and committing countless penalties, and all fans can hope for is they score at least a field goal in a game. Chicago fans, along with many others, have grown tired of the Bears’ mistakes. Even Roger Goodell, who has been the NFL commissioner since 2006, remarked, “The Bears play so poorly, it’s like a comedy gone wrong. Justin Fields may benefit from going back to college, so maybe he’ll learn how to read a defense.”

Grizzly bears themselves are even joining in on the criticism, signing petitions because they don’t want to be associated with this embearrassing team.

Since joining college football, Chicago Bears players have found themselves back on campus, but hitting the books is not as fun as hitting someone on the field. They’ve traded their jerseys for backpacks and touchdown celebrations for morning classes. It’s a tough adjustment, but they’re determined to tackle both the game and their studies, even if going back to school feels miserable.

Although the Bears may have viewed their move to the NCAA as a fresh opportunity for success, that optimism quickly faded when they suffered a loss in a scrimmage against LSU at a behind-the-scenes event.

Bears Coach Matt Eberflus chalked up the loss to yet another excuse.  “This time, our loss was not due to our terrible offense or defense but because of the absence of Justin Fields.” Fields has been out for two weeks with a dislocated right thumb on his throwing hand. But to be honest, many people think him injuring his hand cannot possibly make his accuracy any worse than it already was.

If the Bears continue to struggle in college football, Commissioner Goodell has not ruled out that the team might find themselves facing off against high school teams sooner than anyone expected.

It’s a tough reality to face, but the way things are going, it’s not far-fetched to think they could be on the same field as the Saint Paul’s Wolves, competing with the Class of 2027. Vegas odds consider the spread of that future matchup a tossup.

The move to college football has brought new challenges, but the Bears are determined to tackle them head-on. Hopefully, they can get back on track, leaving behind their fumbles, mistakes, bad offense, bad defense, and bad special teams that have plagued their recent past.