Although many changes have occurred around Saint Paul’s School heading into the 2022-23 school year, a lot has remained the same. Every year, new rules and changes are introduced, but somethings that will never change are the unwritten rules that still hold strongly on this beautiful campus today.

In this article, I will be ranking these unwritten rules using a complex formula that accounts for the rule’s respect, tradition, and importance, leading me to a method that is scientifically proven to be more accurate than the Pythagorean theorem. 

5. Feed the Ducks!

When the lunch line is long and a lonely student has no one to talk to, the ducks are there for him. When young pre-freshmen walk to lunch for the first time, they are greeted by the ducks, brightening their day and making new friends. When the students leave the cafeteria, the ducks begin to ask for some food by using the trademarked phrase “QUACK!” This simple phrase works almost every time, as it is utterly disrespectful for a student to keep walking while ignoring what may well be the first friend they have ever made at Saint Paul’s. I am, however, happy to say that this rule is seldom broken, and when broken, the student is hit with a great deal of guilt, sadness, and emotional distress. So to any young, ascending pre-freshmen, my message to you is: “FEED the ducks!”

Editor’s Note: The above unwritten rule is an opinion of the author; Saint Paul’s School does not actually encourage students to feed the wild ducks on campus.

4. Do Not Leave Counseling Without a Piece of Candy

“Do Not Depart Counseling Without a Piece of Candy” is a rule meant to benefit the average Saint Paul’s student leaving or entering the counseling department. The best part about the law is its simple requirements. The only task a student must complete is to tell Mrs. Beth your name. Saint Paul’s Senior Sam Gold says, “It is impossible to resist the urge to go to the counseling office and get a piece of candy from Mrs. Woodard, Mrs. Beth, or Mrs. Anne every time I’m in La Salle Hall.”

3. Sing Your Heart Out at Mass!

One of the greatest traditions Saint Paul’s students uphold is the beautiful singing at all school masses and prayer services. From “Honneur a Toi” to “O’ that Shame,” Saint Paul’s students belt out these wonderful hymns. When visiting Saint Paul’s for one of these events, it is farfetched to find a quiet student. As I sit here, I can confidently say that I have sung at every school event and will continue to do so. My happiness after an all-school mass is directly related to my participation in all songs at Saint Paul’s School.

2. Do Not Pass Brother Ray Without a Proper Greeting.

Unlike most school presidents, Brother Ray Bulliard knows every student’s name regardless of whether the student is attending the school currently or is an alumnus of school. While this is true, the same goes for the students, as Brother Ray is the most famous man at the school. Each student looks up to him, knows his name, and has had contact with him before. This is due to this important unwritten rule, “Greet Brother Ray when approached or approaching him.” This is probably my favorite unwritten rule, as seeing him is always a joy. 

1. Do Not Walk on the Grass!

The most famous and essential rule on this beautiful, 110-year-old campus is “Do not walk in the grass.” Not only does this rule protect the grass, but it keeps Brother Ray happy. The first time I stepped on the grass at Saint Paul’s, I heard a voice behind me project, “Use the sidewalk, PLEASE!” I turned around swiftly and found Brother Ray staring at me with a face of disappointment. I apologized and walked away depressingly. From that day forward, not only did I walk on the sidewalk, but I started fussing at others for stepping on the grass. Exemplary students do not walk on the grass.