BREAKING NEWS: All Water Fountains on Campus Objectively Ranked

This noble fountain supplies all of the necessary H20 for The Paper Wolf staff. (Photo Credit- Hal Fox)

(COVINGTON, La.) — The table below represents three characteristics of all accessible school water fountains ranked one to five based on stream, temperature, and taste. The fountain with the highest total score is to be considered the most desirable watering hole at St. Paul’s.

3. Benilde (second floor), 13 points– Coming in at third place is the water fountain located on the second floor of Benilde. While its stream and temperature are somewhat lackluster, this fountain tastes great. Although other fountains scored a 13 on the table, this fountain has more to offer. Its ability to refill water bottles makes it the third best fountain on campus.

2. New Gym (left), 14 points– In a close second, the left-side new gym fountain makes up for its subpar stream with great temperature and crisp, quality taste. Unfortunately, this fountain is located near the best water fountain on campus, leaving it almost completely neutralized. For this reason, this fountain remains a strong second.

1. New Gym (right), 15 points– According to the table above, the water fountain holding the highest total score is the right-side fountain in the new gym. It scored 5’s across the board in each category, and its combination of great taste, temperature, and a strong, high-arching stream puts it at the top. Make no mistake, this is choice water, and you’d be hard-pressed to find anything better, be it from the streams of Fiji or the peaks of Everest.

Last Place– The right-side fountain located in the art hallway is last on the list, and anyone who has used it can clearly see why. Although this fountain offers a fairly decent temperature, its taste is very subpar. That being said, the main reason this fountain is last on the list is because of its horrendous stream that shoots over the entire fountain, leaving the drinker soaked. SPS students beware, this fountain is a killer.

Ditch the Dasani and try your local water fountains today.

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