‘Deadliest Teacher’ Set For Triumphant Return

Coming soon to a campus near you...


[Classified Location]
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Dear Faculty,

It has come to my attention lately, as I’m sure it has with many of you, that the time for the 105th Deadliest Teacher Tournament is drawing near, which is completely mandatory for all faculty who don’t want to have lunch duty for the rest of the year.

In years past, this was merely a free-for-all spanning the SPS campus. Due to the destruction this caused, and constant lamenting from the school board as well as alumni, the Brothers have decided to settle this year’s competition in a more civilized manner. The fighting will be contained to the Hunter Coliseum in a tournament style bracket system, with the Brothers acting as judges. The seniors will be present in their traditional togas, with their school uniforms underneath, of course. Mrs. Simoneaux, Mr. Guillory, Mr. Pichon, and Brother Ken will also be providing the entertainment for the event.

For those still speculative about entering the arena, I will call to light a new addition to this year’s Deadliest Teacher Tournament: a cash prize. To the sole survivor of this year’s onslaught, a million dollars will be given, and they will also never have to have dreaded lunch duty for the rest of their career, should they chose to stay, of course.  

Best of Luck,

Brother Raymond Bulliard, FSC

Living life as the 17th Christian Brother President of St. Paul’s School

.  .  .

P.S. I thought after all that serious business, you could make use with a few vocabulary words while you prepare for the games. You’re very welcome.

Damascene: decorate or engrave metal with wavy lines and patterns.

Sabbatarian: one who keeps the sabbath strictly.

Wagonette: carriage with one crosswise seat in front, two seats in back.

.  .  .

Let the games begin...


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