Cry Wolf Satirical News Note: The old Benilde Hall contained a restroom that was notorious for its horrible smell and general uncleanliness. (COVINGTON, La.) The bathroom of the newly renovated Benilde Hall already smells terrible, according to numerous disgusted sources. Students and faculty alike have expressed confusion as to how the brand-new bathroom, which came […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News. Note: Cutco is a high-end knife selling company known for hiring high school and college students to sell its products. The students are paid on commission and are often encouraged to try selling to friends and family. (MANDEVILLE, La.) A Northshore couple who are bad at saying “no” have just […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) St. Paul’s School is well-known for its haircut policy requiring any student whose hair grows past a certain length to cut it, as well as shave any facial hair they have, or face disciplinary action. A St. Paul’s student has reportedly joined a gang and fallen into a […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) The four block, 90-minute class schedule St. Paul’s operates under has given students a very unique relationship with the clock. A St. Paul’s student was reportedly devastated to realize there was still 50 minutes left of class yesterday (May 9). Sources say sophomore Tyrone Peters was horrified after looking […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) An investigation has been opened into newly-elected St. Paul’s Student Council President Josh Rovira for colluding with the Jesuit High School Student Council during the recent 2018 St. Paul’s Student Council election. The investigation into Rovira and his campaign team was opened after it was discovered that the Jesuit […]
Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) A teacher who was actually trying to teach her class during the last period of school on a Friday is clearly delusional, according to multiple concerned sources. Students say Janice Bell, a Geometry teacher, has “definitely gone off the deep end” after she attempted to run a productive class […]
(Cry Wolf Satirical News) Popular video game Fortnite: Battle Royale is responsible for creating stronger brotherhood among St. Paul’s students than all St. Paul’s retreats combined, according to a new report released yesterday by Louisiana State University. Fortnite: Battle Royale (often shortened to just Fortnite), is an online multiplayer game where 100 players are dropped onto […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) A dad in the crowd of a high school basketball game is getting a little too into it, according to reports. “Travel! That’s a travel! Open your eyes, ref!” screamed local dad Mike Bower, who fellow spectators say is becoming a little too emotionally invested in this JV pre-season […]
Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) According to several sources, St. Paul’s football coach and science teacher Lee Pierre accidentally broke a student’s hand while giving him a handshake yesterday morning. The student, 8th grader Tim Sortino, was taken to the emergency room after the cordial greeting went terribly wrong. “Hello, how are you?” Pierre, […]
Cry Wolf satirical news. (ANYTOWN, Texas) In what some are calling the “blunder of the year,” a high school football player has reportedly accidentally set his end-of-the-season highlight tape to smooth jazz music. Sources say 6’3″, 220 lb junior linebacker and former five-star recruit Justin Salting is devastated after attempting to make the background song […]
