Tag Archives: Satire

[satire] CRY WOLF: St. Paul’s Student Devastated to Realize There’s Still 50 Minutes Left of Class

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) The four block, 90-minute class schedule St. Paul’s operates under has given students a very unique relationship with the clock.  A St. Paul’s student was reportedly devastated to realize there was still 50 minutes left of class yesterday (May 9). Sources say sophomore Tyrone Peters was horrified after looking […]

CRY WOLF: St. Paul’s Student Uses Ladder to Get Out of Lifted Truck [satire]

Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) A St. Paul’s student used a ladder to get out of his lifted truck this morning, according to extremely impressed sources. The student, senior Chad Sweatshirt, was seen utilizing a large extension ladder to climb down from the driver’s side door of his truck, a 2029 Chevrolet Annihilator.    “Safety […]

CRY WOLF: Food Bank Forecloses on Gingerbread House [satire]

Cry Wolf Satirical News. (COVINGTON, La.) The Northshore Food Bank has reportedly foreclosed on a gingerbread house, according to sources. The food bank moved to foreclose on the 32-square-inch home yesterday (Dec. 20) after the gingerbread homeowners, Bob and Susan Gumdrop, failed to make four consecutive mortgage payments. “We’ve given the homeowners plenty of time […]

CRY WOLF: Wise, All-Knowing Prophet Tells Freshmen that High School Goes by Really Fast

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La)  A sage prophet told a group of mesmerized freshmen Tuesday (Aug. 29) that high school goes by really fast, according to multiple mind-blown sources. “You have to cherish your time now,” said the oracle, 17-year-old senior Nathan Mace, as he generously conferred his wisdom upon some underclassmen. “Before you […]

Cry Wolf: Health-Conscious Mosquito Only Bites Gluten-Free People

[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (WHOLE FOODS – MANDEVILLE, La.) Buzzing about what a great lifestyle change it was, a health-conscious mosquito has started only biting gluten-free people, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 19). Following a recently popular fad in the mosquito community, the winged insect has reportedly started only biting and sucking the blood exclusively of […]

CRY WOLF: Student to Vote for Student Council Candidate Who Makes Better Empty Promises

Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Regarding the upcoming Student Council election, a St. Paul’s student has decided he will vote for the student council candidate that makes better empty promises, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 5). Reports say that sophomore Brian Deck’s vote will be won by the quality of promises that will never […]