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<p>Satirical news regarding St. Paul’s campus, administration, and the world around us.</p>

Cry Wolf: Health-Conscious Mosquito Only Bites Gluten-Free People

[Cry Wolf Satirical News] (WHOLE FOODS – MANDEVILLE, La.) Buzzing about what a great lifestyle change it was, a health-conscious mosquito has started only biting gluten-free people, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 19). Following a recently popular fad in the mosquito community, the winged insect has reportedly started only biting and sucking the blood exclusively of […]

CRY WOLF: Student to Vote for Student Council Candidate Who Makes Better Empty Promises

Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Regarding the upcoming Student Council election, a St. Paul’s student has decided he will vote for the student council candidate that makes better empty promises, sources confirmed Wednesday (April 5). Reports say that sophomore Brian Deck’s vote will be won by the quality of promises that will never […]

Cry Wolf: Firework Stand Employee Seems Like Last Person to Trust with Tent of Explosives

Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Local woman Susan Watemen noted Thursday how the man working at her local firework stand seemed like the last person you’d trust with a tent full of explosives. Pointing out his missing teeth and “Death to All” neck tattoo, Watemen expressed bewilderment that anyone would deem the worker […]

Cry Wolf Exclusive: Shadower Decides not to Attend St. Paul’s After Hearing Student Body Sing ‘Fight Song’

(COVINGTON, La. ) — A prospective student shadowing at St. Paul’s for the day reportedly decided he would not be attending SPS after hearing the student body sing the fight song at an assembly on Tuesday. “It was just a mess,” prospective student Jacob Walsh said. “Half the school was singing at one tempo, and […]