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<p>Satirical news regarding St. Paul’s campus, administration, and the world around us.</p>

Cry Wolf: Firework Stand Employee Seems Like Last Person to Trust with Tent of Explosives

Cry Wolf satirical news. (COVINGTON, La.) — Local woman Susan Watemen noted Thursday how the man working at her local firework stand seemed like the last person you’d trust with a tent full of explosives. Pointing out his missing teeth and “Death to All” neck tattoo, Watemen expressed bewilderment that anyone would deem the worker […]

Cry Wolf Exclusive: Shadower Decides not to Attend St. Paul’s After Hearing Student Body Sing ‘Fight Song’

(COVINGTON, La. ) — A prospective student shadowing at St. Paul’s for the day reportedly decided he would not be attending SPS after hearing the student body sing the fight song at an assembly on Tuesday. “It was just a mess,” prospective student Jacob Walsh said. “Half the school was singing at one tempo, and […]

Watkins to Hire Professional Bounty Hunters for Teacher Survey Dodgers

(COVINGTON, La.) — In a statement released yesterday, St. Paul’s Principal Trevor Watkins said he plans to hire professional bounty hunters for students who have not taken their teacher surveys. “At this point,” Watkins said, “this seems like the most logical solution.” Watkins has been increasingly stricter regarding the surveys each year since the school […]